zigzags

yesterday this picture was just another photo from the summer on my phone. Now it is one of my favorites. please let me tell you why.

The simplicity of summertime has been stolen away by a gang of robbers called, work, school, soccer practice and 53 degree nights. Questions like “what camp do you work at?” go to “what college are you going to?” In my opinion, September 1st should come with a written warning. Because it gets real, real fast.

Now that I have your attention lets get even more real.

I am part of this remarkable program here at school. And for this program, myself and the 23 others have to take this class. This class is not your typical college course. For it is not a class focused on a midterm and a final. Or a class that requires a one hundred dollar textbook. This class is special. For I had to order a collection of small paperbacks and my “final” is finding my vocation. Pretty cool right?

I had to do some reading for this class earlier this week. And yes I know, I can practically hear the groans from here, but this reading was different. Mary Catherine Bateson wrote, “Composing a Life Story” where she explained all the different ways to pull together your own authentic life. My favorite component of her piece was where she presented the concept of life zigzags.

That our lives are not this sky-meets-ocean continuous horizon, but rather our lives are like the city skyline, with divots, gaps and edges. Our lives are made up of rejections, failures, access denied, forgotten passwords, lay offs, two week notices, substitutes, junior varsity, and sixth place moments. And as a society, we prefer the glazed over, re-touched, magazine cover version. Bateson claims that society believes if your life is jagged, “something is wrong with you.”

The truth of the matter is that your zigzags are the most rawest and authentic parts of your life story. The parts you cannot edited over are the most important ones. The zigzags give you what you really need in life, whether you are aware of it or not.

You need to be last place in the freestyle relay in a sketchy pool, hours from home, to realize this might be it for the swim career.

And you need to transfer from that college because it really isn’t giving you what you need. You need to get locked out of your car in the parking garage at 11 pm to learn how to finally say no.

You have to go through that dark time to realize that you are capable of so much, and worth more than you will ever know.

And you know what, you need to fail five math finals before you can get a 96 on the one that is worth all the tea in China.

You have to have the moments of “incorrect login credentials” before you can have the “You have 30 minutes of ad free music.”

We need to move past this idea that discontinued stories are not worth hearing about. Because you know what, between you and me I love the zigzag story. For being the underdog my entire life, I thrive in the story telling of failure. Please share with me how you rode the bench your entire high school athletics career.

Don’t be ashamed to say that you got waitlisted at that school.

Own the fact you failed your drivers test, three times.

Honestly say that you didn’t think you were gonna make through the winter, but here you are just doing the best you can.

Claim that you have had four interviews go poorly.

Admit that you were pretty sure it was gonna last, but poor choices were made.

The more we embrace our zigzag filled lives, others will too. We can influence others about our zigzag pride, and it will force society’s hand to let a discontinuous story take center stage.

Additionally, some zigzags are already there, in the open. For we just forgot or failed to realize that this beautiful scenes were made up of zigzags.

Now, I don’t know if you have had the privilege to see the White Mountains in all their glory. On a Sunday morning in January with sun dancing around those majestic peaks.

I don’t know if you had the chance to stand on a boat pulling away from the Seaport Hotel in Boston with the whole skyline basically at your fingertips. And the lights being playfully coy as they wink back to you.

Or had the opportunity to stand in a valley, filled with soft spring air. With green trees above you swaying to a secret song.

But if you have shared a moment like this, you my friend have witnessed a zig zag. And quite a stunning one.

Next time you have the chance to cop out on your story, or slightly edit a zig or a zag don’t. Instead own it, be proud of it, for it that zigzag that brought you to your next blessing. Because if you share your zigzag moments, others will too. And won’t that be just a marvelous thing.

keep on zinging and zanging my dear readers. it builds character and straight lines are over rated.

sincerely, emma